Breaking The Silence

KEVIN’S STORY

Growing up, my understanding of religion was confined to rigid rules and the looming threat of hell. Grace and a personal relationship were foreign concepts in our household. This limited perspective shaped my early spiritual journey and left me constantly searching for deeper meaning in my existence.

I developed a destructive habit of internalizing everything, convinced that no one would care about my struggles. My mind became a battlefield where lies took root: “You’re worthless!” “You’re not good enough!” “You’re going nowhere in life!” “You’re pathetic!” These weren’t just passing thoughts – they became my reality, shaping how I viewed myself and my place in the world.

“I felt worthless, hopeless, angry, bitter, selfish, alone, empty, numb, confused, and frustrated.”

Depression crept in during my teenage years and followed me to college like a dark shadow. Despite being surrounded by family and friends, I felt desperately alone. A vast emptiness consumed my heart, driving me to seek temporary relief in destructive ways. I turned to drinking, partying, toxic friendships, pornography, and casual hookups – anything to feel “alive” for just a moment. But each escape left me feeling more hollow than before.

The irony was crushing: everything I did to feel alive was slowly killing me inside. Mental and emotional isolation became my prison, and I couldn’t see a way out. Suicidal thoughts began to surface, whispering false promises of escape.

But at my lowest point, something unexpected happened. God intervened with relentless persistence. My first night at an Eastside Care Group marked a turning point. Despite my initial hesitation, I found myself among people who were refreshingly genuine, openly discussing struggles similar to my own. That evening, I experienced a profound shift in understanding what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus. Looking back, I’m certain I wouldn’t be alive today if I hadn’t taken that first step.

The three years since have been transformative, though not without challenges. The difference is that I no longer face these struggles alone. God’s presence has been constant, guiding me through experiences I never imagined possible. I’ve witnessed His work through others and through my own life. Today, I serve in ministries helping teens and young adults wrestling with depression and similar challenges. It’s a role that still leaves me amazed – I never imagined finding myself here.

The past few years have been quite a journey. My understanding of life, people, myself, and God continues to deepen daily. The person I was three years ago would hardly recognize me now. This is my story so far, but it’s far from over…

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

More of us than ever are facing mental health challenges – thoughts of worry, stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, shame, self-harm, or suicide. Whether you’re struggling personally or supporting someone who is, these challenges can feel overwhelming. It is time to get honest about our mental health.