6 Ways to Tackle Tough Conversations With Teens
Difficult conversations
Do you ever feel like you and your teen disagree on some of the “big things?” Or ever feel like when you talk about your different opinions on faith, values, or beliefs the conversations could go better?
It can feel overwhelming especially if you don’t feel equipped to answer these tough questions. Every day our teens are hearing that living out your true, authentic self is what is most important. Their facing conversations about how all religions lead to God. They’re being told the most important thing to chase is happiness. It can feel daunting when your teen comes home questioning their faith or expressing views that conflict with biblical values. However, with the right approach, these moments provide valuable opportunities to disciple our kids and equip them to live out their faith.
So where do we start as parents? I Peter 3:15 teaches “in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
Guidelines for better conversations
The way we as parents engage in tough topics with truth and grace has a huge impact on how our teens will approach faith conversations. It’s important to distinguish between matters of taste vs biblical absolutes. We shouldn’t divide over disputable matters, but must stand firm on core biblical truth. Avoid mocking, stereotyping or speaking uncharitably about people with different views, even privately. Our teens are listening and this will affect our influence. Be genuinely curious and invite feedback. Ask questions to understand others’ perspectives and humbly consider whether you may have blind spots. Last always focus on the person, not proving a point. Be motivated by love and a desire for the other person to know Christ, not just by winning an argument.
How to talk with your teen
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We live in a world where conversations almost feel more like combat. Instead model for teens how to have productive, loving conversations about controversial topics. Asking questions, listening well, and discussing issues with empathy and conviction is far more effective. “If we don’t consciously equip young Christians with a biblical worldview, they will unconsciously absorb the ideas of today’s culture” So The Next Generation Will Know by Sean McDowell and Jay Warner Wallace
6 Ways to Tackle Tough Conversations With Teens
- Build fences around clear biblical and moral absolutes, but give freedom to explore within those boundaries. Not every debatable issue has to be a hill to die on. Allow room for them to wrestle with how to live out their convictions faithfully.
- Engage their tough questions with more questions. Respond with “What do you think? Why? What have you heard? Have you considered…?” Draw out their thought process, affirm what you can, and gently point out holes in faulty reasoning.
- Admit when you don’t have all the answers. It’s okay to say “Great question, let’s research that together” and model being a lifelong learner. You build trust when you respond with humility and curiosity.
- Always bring it back to the gospel. How does Jesus’ death and resurrection redefine their purpose, identity, and relationships? Anchor their worldview in Christ, not just in being right.
- Point to the beauty of God’s design, not just the “rules.” Help them see how living according to biblical truth leads to flourishing and joy. A Christian worldview is good news!
- Above all, make your home a safe place for them to wrestle with hard things. Thank them for coming to you. Affirm that it’s good to grapple with tough questions. Commit to pursuing truth together. Pray for them and with them.
When we dare to engage with our teens’ hard questions, we position them to live out their faith thoughtfully and in any context. What an incredible opportunity we have as parents to raise up a generation who know why they believe and invite others into the joy of the gospel. Let’s rise to the challenge for their sake and for the glory of God.
Author: Ryan Pauly | think-well.org
Hosted by: Eastside Christian Church
Anaheim, CA
Our team has compiled some of the most challenging, difficult, controversial, frequently asked questions we get about faith and Christianity as it relates to life, morality, current events, the end of the world, sexuality, and more. Week by week we’ll unpack seven of these questions in ways that I think you’ll find fascinating and informative. These questions are often the roadblocks for people when it comes to faith and Christianity. We’ve even titled the final week of the series, the subject you thought we would skip and not have the courage to address. You can check out all the messages at eastside.com/you-asked-for-it.
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Parent Worshop
Looking to dive deeper into this topic? Watch and share this parent workshop by Ryan Pauly from think-well.org.
You are invited!
We aren't afraid to tackle the tough conversations and we'd love to invite you and your teen to Eastside.
more resources
Wondering about how to tackle conversations about sex and sexuality? Check out this parent resource.